7 MORE ON CHARACTER Perhaps all the dragons of our life are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave. Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet He who fights too long against dragons becomes a dragon himself. Nietzsche You may have found the last chapter both too complicated and too simplistic, and it is simplified in the sense that 'nobody is really like that' - it's not possible to reduce a real person to the cardboard categories of the character positions. We can recognise strong elements of an individual's nature, but there is always a 'yes, but', some other strand or tendency which makes the picture richer and more complex. In this chapter we want to show how we can flesh out the bones, and use the concepts of character to generate something more like real human beings. Looked at another way, it means that we can use these concepts to understand real human beings. First, though, to help with the complex" of the material and the ramification of confusing detail, here is a summary of the character positions described so far, together with a selection of keywords for each position. A Summary of the Character Positions BOUNDARY POSITION (womb, birth and first weeks) Eye segment block. Theme of existence: the right to be. Stuck: fragility - invasion - unreality Creative: Perceptive - inspired - psychic Keywords: Distant ... Blank ... Deep ... Vulnerable ... Foggy ... In pieces ... Cold ... Crazy ... Scary ... Weird ... Bizarre ... Paranoid ... Keep off!... ORAL POSITION (feeding, weaning, siblings) Jaw block. Theme of need: the right to be fed and supported. Stuck: Unfair world - misunderstood -.hungry - empty Creative: Appetite for life - nurturing - eloquent Keywords: Needy ... Exhausting Draining ... Love-starved ... Manipulative ... Persuasive ... Biting ... Sharp-tongued ... Greedy ... Ungrounded ... Sulky ... Arrogant ... Clever ... Tired ... Won't ... Black ... CONTROL POSITION (independent play, beginnings of autonomy) Heart block. Theme of validation: the right to have my experience acknowledged. Stuck: No one else is real - need to dominate, to get my way, or else to hide Creative: Big hearted - leadership - looking after Keywords: Dominant ... Overwhelming ... Seductive ... Bossy ... Charismatic ... Top Dog ... How To Win Friends and Influence People ... Puffed-up ... Insincere ... Impressive ... Hard Sell ... Cut-off ... Politico ... Hail-Fellow-Well-Met ... Unreal ... HOLDING POSITION (toilet training, force feeding, timetabling) Anal block, buttocks, thighs, shoulders. Theme of control: the right to value myself, to take my time. Stuck: Self-disgust - repression - suffering Creative: Grounded - patient - determined - compassionate Keywords: Long-suffering ... Painful ... Tortured ... Enduring ... Held-in ... Stuck ... Bursting ... Sturdy ... Guilty ... Full of shit ... Arselicking ... Greasy ... Oily ... Sticky ... Repulsive ... Bully, petty tyrant ... Obsessive ... Repetitive ... Maddening ... THRUSTING POSITION ('wilfulness', clash with authority) Pelvic block against softness. Theme of assertion: the right to take up space, be noticed. Stuck: Competition - revenge - mustn't collapse Creative: Initiative - courage - physicality Keywords: Pushy ... Proud ... Competitive ... Abrasive ... Macho ... Rigid ... Effective ... Overpowering ... Athletic ... Upright ... Golden girl/boy ... Egotistical ... Keeping their act together ... Driving ... Driven ... Exhibitionist ... CRISIS POSITION (confrontation with gender roles and sexuality) Pelvic block against surrender. Theme of contact: the right to choose, right to play. Stuck: Sexual panic - yes/no - confusion - melodrama Creative: Playful - graceful - complex - exciting Keywords: Jumpy ... Over-the-top ... Dramatic ... Exciting ... Sexual.. Flirty ... Stirring ... Attractive ... Frustrating ... Confusing ... Evasive/Elusive ... Frozen ... Scared ... Boundary (often first impression) ... OPEN POSITION (resolving of anxiety around surrender) No permanent blocks: armouring forms and melts according to circumstances. Theme of surrender: the right to pleasure and creativity. Reality - spontaneity - naturalness - acceptance of what is Our idea in using these keywords is not that each one applies to every person manifesting that character position. We are aiming more at a 'splatter effect', since we find in practice that if we want to use several terms from one section about a given individual (or other equivalent words), then that person will be strongly involved with the corresponding character position. So, for example, if I find myself thinking how pushy, proud and rigid a new client is, then I will realise that they have a strong thrusting component in their makeup. If I find myself seeing them as needy, negative and exhausting, then I am tuning in to their oral material. Or if I experience them as clever, persuasive and arrogant I am meeting a different sort of oral character; and so on. Clearly, some of the keywords in each section point in very different directions, or even contradict each other. A given character position can express itself in very different ways: for example, as either a 'yearning' or a 'denying' attitude. Similarly, one keyword on its own might fit with several different character positions; for example, above we have used 'proud' for a thrusting character and 'arrogant' for an oral character. It is the appropriateness of several keywords from one section that gives us useful information. You will perhaps have noticed that many, though not all, of the keywords have negative connotations. As we will explain at more length in Chapter 8, it is often through our negative reactions to clients that we can learn most about their character. But it is important to stress that no judgement is intended. These are the emotional reactions that the unhealthy aspects of character structure tend to bring up, particularly in the intense atmosphere of the therapy session but also in everyday interactions. They are not, however, assessments of a person's worth. As well as being differentiated through the yearning or denying attitude involved, each character position is very much affected by what is going on in the rest of the person besides the segment directly concerned. In this context a human being is rather like a hologram, where each part both reflects the whole and is reflected in the whole. Let's take as an example the holding character position. As we have seen, this position derives from blocking in the pelvis, especially the anus, buttocks and thighs; this blocking becomes a general attitude of holding on, influencing the overall shape of the body (wide and heavy), and creating a tendency to some specific physical traits like heavy shoulders, short neck, sunken eyes and so on. Together with this goes the overall issue of self-disgust and self-control, letting go and holding on. This overall holding position may be combined with blocking in any of the other segments, both those at 'top and tail' - which we have seen as defining the character positions - and in the other 'central' segments - neck, heart, waist and belly. So the basic themes and attitudes will take on different forms and express themselves through different issues, like a beam of light shone through different coloured filters. A helpful way of looking at this with the holding position is that in each segment there will be either an attempt to hold on (denying version) or an attempt to let go (yearning version), manifested through the physical and emotional repertoire of that segment. Thus a holding character with an eye block will either be trying to let go through the eyes and mind, or trying to hold on through the eyes and mind. The issue of boundaries, fragmentation and containment will be there, but as a way of approaching these issues of holding on and letting go. Holding on with the eye segment, then, might result in the development of complex intellectual systems, even obsessions; elaborate, essentially pointless thought processes which are really a sort of 'mental constipation', never reaching the point. A yearning version, concerned with letting go, might either be mentally 'messy' and chaotic, or else applying the same sort of systematic order to meditation techniques. A holding character with an oral block tends to show the anal material through the mouth, either as a denying style of tight lips, pinched nostrils and general disgust, as if other people leave a bad taste or smell, or as a yearning version which uses the mouth to spread shit around, a sticky, greasy, oily, 'arselicking' character disguising an underlying spiteful malice. The same principle applies to any combination of blocks with any basic character. A thrusting character with a neck block will be 'stiff-necked', rigid, refusing to bow down to anyone - and as a result refusing any softness and givingness, 'holier-than-thou'. An oral character with an eye block will have issues about being 'fed' through their eyes, and will display either a 'Teach me O Master' passivity (yearning version) or a stubborn refusal to be shown, taught or met (denying version). Thus we can build up the uniqueness of an individual character structure through the combination of different blocks in the bodymind, and read the 'story' which that combination tells. It would be pointless, and endless, to try to list every possible combination - like illustrating every possible fingerprint - but the table summarises the meetings of pairs of different character positions, each of which will in practice be influenced by various degrees and kinds of blocking in all the other segments.

It may seem impossible for any real use to be made of this great mass of material - as soon as it stops being simplistic, it becomes unmanageable! In practice, though, we get immense help from the system of character analysis; not so much on the level of intellectual understanding as through a developing capacity to recognise character attitudes on a gut level. Much of what we are saying about character is embedded in the folk wisdom of our language itself, with all its body-imagery: 'stiff-necked', 'gut feeling', 'arselicker', 'pushy', 'cold-hearted'. All these terms are direct pointers to the essence of someone's character structure. Now we turn towards what we can call the 'bridge' character positions which seem to turn up so frequently. These manifest when a person seems to exist mainly between two adjacent character positions: between holding and crisis, for example, or between boundary and oral; either oscillating between the two according to circumstances, or else firmly straddling the divide and combining elements of each into a personal synthesis. Boundary/Oral Bridge This is the common intellectual character position: trying to make words and ideas into a self-sufficient reality; using them as nourishment as protection, as contact as erotic play, as a substitute for the life of the body self-contained within the head. There is often an important seat of tension at the physical junction between the two segments, the soft palate and the internal cavity of the head; there can be a sense of a 'watcher' inside the head, unable to let go into the sensuous life of the body through fear of being overwhelmed. Conversely, a valuable quality of this intellectual position is its resistance to being overwhelmed by feeling, and by pressure of other people. Oral/Control Bridge Someone in this position is going to find it impossible to express any needs they may have. They may end up indirectly acting out their needs by taking care of other people - treating them as small and weak, whether they are or not, because that is how they feel themselves inside. But there will be a bossy, 'for-your-own-good' quality to the supposed caring which will generally alienate its recipients. Some social workers, politicians and therapists are acting from this part of themselves. Control/Holding Bridge Here the jammed-up, stuck, inflated side of each of these positions is emphasised, and the individual may have a very off-putting 'constipated' quality to them. Rather than controlling themselves in the holding style, they may try to control other people, expressing punitive, moralistic and repressive attitudes. Here we find the classic bureaucrat who secretly loves sitting on everyone else's freedom and initiative. But also, instead of letting go themselves, they may try to force other people to let go, in a style of repressive liberalism or radicalism. 'PC' behaviour can be used as a channel for this sort of attitude. In the background of the control/holding bridge there is always a little girl or boy trying desperately, but hopelessly, to be good: good enough to be acceptable. In their drive for goodness they may lay waste to whole families or communities. Holding/Thrusting Bridge This produces the ultimate rigid character, binding all their energy into tense musculature and fixed attitudes: a combination of the holder's terror of opening up, and the thruster's terror of collapse. People in this position often have very strict moral codes and strong consciences, blaming themselves heavily for any slight lapse from grace. There is often an underlying fantasy of shitting themselves, becoming 'soiled', 'disgraced', as if their insides will fall out and be lost forever if they let go of their control. There will be deep tension within the pelvis, and usually also in the back muscles. Such people very often take out their tension on others, becoming moral arbiters and censors; at source their hateful anger is directed at the people who suppressed their own natural vitality and pleasure. Holding/Crisis Bridge These are not strictly 'adjacent' positions according to our system, but the bridge between them seems to be a very common one; it is specifically about flight from the thrusting position which would come between the two. If someone is deeply unwilling or unable to occupy the thrusting position and assert themselves in a solidly committed way, then they often tend to oscillate between the excitement and movement of the crisis character, and a collapse into holding self-dislike and stuckness. It's a sort of 'manic-depressive' pattern, moving from an exaggerated sense of power and charisma into a morning-after feeling of 'Oh God, what have I done, what must people think of me?' We often find a strong diaphragm block associated with this position, giving a breathless jerkiness to the person's self-expression. The block derives from panic about self-assertion, perhaps because of scary authoritarian parenting. Thrusting/Crisis Bridge This is a particularly difficult combination to sustain, since the two positions are in many ways chalk and cheese. Any expression of traditionally 'masculine' attitudes which feels hollow (both in men and women), a performance rather than a reality, is probably to do with this bridge position: the parodic pseudo-machismo of some gay men's circles, for instance, or men who feel pushed to act in violent or otherwise extreme ways to 'defend' their masculinity. This is the position which classical psychoanalysis talks about in terms of 'repressed homosexuality', but what is really being repressed is openness and contact, understood in patriarchal terms as unmasculine. There is a flight from softness into a pretence of toughness. People in this position confront in their own bodies the political problem of combining power and tenderness in a patriarchal society. The focus of tension in the body can be the perineum, the area between anus and genitals. Crisis/Boundary Bridge Although these two positions are at opposite ends of the cycle, they are also closely linked: Alexander Lowen has pointed out a tendency for energy to swing between the two. Both positions are based on panic: for the crisis character it is panic about contact, and for the boundary character about existence, but it is easy to see how each theme can feed into the other. The leading characteristic of someone occupying this bridge position will be chaos, together with a deep elusiveness: they are almost impossible to pin down, which is as frustrating for them as it is for anyone else! Let's move away now from this precision and detail and get back in touch with the main issue of character: that it embodies at the same time our attempts to engage with existence, and our attempts to run away from it. The 'energy-exchange segments' are our most important channels of contact with the world, including other people. Each of these segments, through the nature of the organ systems and subtle energy channels involved and because of the phase of life during which our energy is focused there, takes on a particular 'flavour', an innate style of being. All these flavours blend to make up a whole human being, able to relate to the world in a rich, complex and flexible way. At the same time each segment, each channel, throws up its own problems and challenges; sets up the potential for fixation, for blocking - again, in the particular style and flavour of the segment concerned. Yet neither our 'failure' nor our 'success' in negotiating the challenges of a particular phase is going to be total; there is always a mixture, a balance of more or less free or bound energy, which establishes the terms of a person's relationship with this particular aspect of existence. This balance is constantly shifting as the circumstances of our lives put more or less pressure on our capacity to cope. Then there is the mixture and balance of each segment with every other segment, creating a complex unity which expresses that person's unique style of being in the world. The first thing to do, always, with this unique character structure is to celebrate it, as a brilliantly successful strategy for surviving a threatening environment. If we then start to help someone question their strategy, highlighting ways in which it limits their potential for growth and pleasure, then this is not to belittle the achievement, or the often astonishing beauty and strength of that human being. Character is a way of growing. Therapy exists only to support and to extend that capacity for growth - not to undermine what someone has already created in themselves. It remains true, though, and must emerge clearly from all that we have said in the last two chapters about the individual character positions, that character is also a way of not growing. It is a brilliant way of surviving an environment which is, let us face it, appalling. The deforming influence of capitalism and patriarchy corrupts even the best and most loving family, so that the strength and beauty we display as adults is like the strength and beauty of a Japanese Bonsai tree: essentially a stunted caricature of what a healthy full-grown specimen would be. 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