Why Me?

Why Me?

So many of us have cried out to God with the same burning question…"Of all the people in the world, why am I gay? I never requested it and it’s screwing up my life. How am I supposed to serve You when all my desires seem to go directly in conflict with how You want me to live? Why are You doing this to me?"

If we listen closely, we could find God was listening and answering all along. His response might go something like this:

I did not give this condition to you, My son. How you acquired same-sex attractions is not easily explained. Nor is it eternally important. I will, however, share with you why I allow your struggle to continue.

You see, My child, I have plans for you. With each night you spend crying in anguish behind a closed door, while you see other men ‘getting their needs met’. With each time you obey My Word, even though you have your doubts about it. And with each time you reach out through your own loneliness and love others who are hurting, you come closer to understanding My ways. Throughout your struggle, you have come to know the essence of being lonely, afraid, isolated and misunderstood. And, yes, many times weakness wins and you seek out anonymous sex with other men, even though you know it’s not right. Through this, you have learned the frustration of failure. You’ll be seeing a lot of failure where I am sending you, so it is crucial that you have compassion for it.

Just as an army is only as powerful as its soldiers, so it is with Me. I am only as real, as loving and as compassionate to the world as those individuals who represent Me. I need you to believe in Me, in My love for you and in My ability to change your life. When you have reached this level of faith you will be ready to serve Me.

You will see, looking back, that I’ve been working with you all along and the changes brought about in you are real. Those gay addictions, which once dominated your every thought and action, are now gone. You’ve come a long way and I’m proud of you.

Now it is time to demonstrate the healing power of my love and tell others how you trusted in Me to bring you out of homosexuality and into the light.

I will send you to the lost; those young men who are trapped in the confusing world of the gay lifestyle. They will be emotionally-hardened, spiritually-wounded and completely deceived. You will look into their eyes and see another human being crying out for help. You will easily recognize the signs because you were there, not too long before, crying the same tears in the same darkness.

You understand them. You know their needs and their fears, because you were one of them. You lived the gay life. You suffered the pain. You cried out for help. You waited. You trusted. You believed. You survived. Your heart’s candle was snuffed and together we re-lit it.

Now, My son, take your candle, return to the darkness from which I rescued you and light it up with My truth. I love you.

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