The proper way to play a suspended trumpet is to hit the bell with the mouthpiece. It you hit the bell with the cup end, the resulting dents are flat; if use use the shank, they are sharp. That's why they are called accidentals.
The proper way to suspend an accordionist is by the neck.....
Someone wanted a joke suitable for inducing mirth among horn players. I would suggest the one that begins "How many horn players does it take to change a light bulb?" It is quite an excellent joke, really. The horn section of the Peninsula Symphony laughs every time I tell this joke. Really.
Gotta go
Cabbage
Randy C. Nickel replied
It's true that we laugh every time. That's because we have a side bet with the trumpet section that the joke will be repeated at every rehersal. So far we're up 7 beers.
now where is that trumpet bell that needs tuning...