Marriage was one of those events which gave a community a good excuse for a big celebration. In past times, when life for most people was pretty grim and the Church preached hellfire and damnation, it was a relief to have some fun. Of course, it was a major step for anyone to take since divorce was not an option and so there developed strategies for the cautious.
'Handfasting' was a custom whereby a couple could undergo what amounted to a trial marriage. They made a declaration in front of a witness that if marriage did not take place within a certain time then both parties were free to look elsewhere for partners. Sometimes there were penalties specified in the declaration should the man not go through with the marriage. Should the couple separate with a child on the way or even having been born, the father was responsible for its support and no stigma attached to the woman or the child who was regarded as legitimate as a child born in wedlock.
Another arrangement which might be regarded as trial marriage is the concept of the 'common-law' marriage. Here if a couple live together for several years and are regarded by those who know them as living as husband and wife, then they have the same inheritance rights as a legally married couple. They are married by 'habit and repute'.
Traditionally the bride's father paid for the cost of the wedding celebrations but for a lot of the population who could not afford to do that, there was the concept of the 'penny wedding'. In this case the guests each made a contribution. The church were constantly wringing their hands over 'penny weddings' because of the drinking, music, and worst of all, dancing which occurred.
© Copyright Len Nicholson, 1996, 1997, 1998