Talking, Not Shouting
by Renée Zitzloff
Several years ago I was at a huge pro-life rally in Washington D.C. There were hundreds of us, and as usual a number of angry pro-choicers who came to protest our event. They were extremely vociferous in disdaining us; their hatred was obvious. I noticed one young woman in particular who seemed especially vehement and loud.
After the rally, I headed back to our hotel. Strangely enough I ended up on the subway sitting right next to the loud, angry pro-choicer I had noticed at the rally. I could hardly believe it was only a coincidence! I was fairly certain she had not seen me at the rally as I was just one of a huge crowd. We began a very friendly conversation -- it was a long ride, talking of many things. I don't remember how, but I began to share with her my interest in midwifery. I talked about the beauty of the baby in the womb, it's development and growth, and the beauty of birth-giving. I guess I felt I had to plant a seed somehow. She listened with enthusiasm and interest. The seed was planted in me! A person who a had been my "enemy" a few hours before was now my friend -- or at least had been for a brief train ride. It taught me a lesson I needed to learn. She was deceived about abortion; I was deceived in my earlier mental judgement of her -- "just another angry pro-choicer!" Certainly, if I had tried to talk to her at the rally, she might have been defensive and irate. But as two young women who happened to meet in the subway we had no trouble striking up a conversation.
Doesn't there have to be dialogue at some level? Just think of what happens when friends or a married couple do not have clear communication. It can lead to the break down of the relationship. If communication is necessary between friends, couldn't it at least be a starting point between adversaries?
I too was pro-choice many years ago. I would have had an abortion in a minute. I was ignorant. I didn't have the right information. When I received the information I was missing, my mind was changed. True, not all people change their minds, but don't we need to try? Hearts and minds are changed one by one.
I read recently in the Philokalia that what demons fear the most is gentleness. How can we be gentle when 4,000 little children die painful deaths each day in this country? I do not know. Perhaps gentleness comes from humility; humility from knowing that we have no righteousness in ourselves. The Bible says that when God's people humble themselves, then He will heal their nation (2 Chronicles 7:14).
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posted: January 27, 1998 / as published in the Theophany 1998 issue of In Communion