by A. Mallinger, M.D. and Jeannette DeWyze
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Perfectionism can be rewarding, but it come at a very large price. Have you every wondered why some of your colleagues appear to be immune to criticism, unwilling to change their minds, never able admit to a mistake, have trouble making decisions even small ones, or act as though they must be in control at all times?
You may be dealing with an obsessive personality. The author identifies the behavior of the obsessive personality and discusses the problems of dealing with them. And you are right, your colleague is not only unwilling to change his mind but also unable to change his mind, nor admit to a mistake, nor make a decision.
The problem is that the obsessive personality attemps to control everything and everybody around him to avoid making mistakes. On page 3 the author lists the following traits to help identify the obsessive personality:
- fear of making errors
- fear of making a wrong decision or choice
- strong devotion to work
- need for order or firmly established routine
- frugality
- need to know and follow rules
- emotional guardedness
- tendency to be stubborn or oppositional
- heightened sensitivity to being pressured or controlled
- inclination to worry, ruminate, or doubt
- need to be above criticism--moral, professional, or personal
- cautiousness
- chronic inner pressure to use every minute productively
Although the above traits are common in various degrees in most successful people the obsessive personality will carry some or all of them to an extreme.
The book does a marvelous job of explaining the why and how of obsessive personalities. The author teaches you how to communicate with an obsessive so that you do not feel as if you are beating your head against the wall.
Arguing with an obsessive is useless! They are incapable of admitting a mistake nor of admitting they do not know everything. Read this book to help you understand why some people drive you crazy and how to cope with them before you do go crazy.
Obsessive personalities should read this book to identify your own problem and seek assistance to overcome being TOO PERFECT.
Learn how to cope with an obsessive-compulsives because you cannot change them.