Explanation of the chemist assay:

Ask them what a mole is.

• If you ask my sister, who was trained as a hairstylist and had to take courses on 'skin', what a mole is she will probably tell you it is a pigmented skin blemish.
• If you ask my dad, who has a garden, what a mole is he will probably tell you it s a nocturnal, subterranean rodent that keeps eating the roots of all his plants.
• If you ask my friend, who is really into mexican cooking but doesn't speak Spanish, he may tell you it's a spicy sauce containing chocolate. (Technically this is pronounced Mo-LAY.)
• If you ask a chemist you will be told it is 6.022*10^23 molecules of a substance.

Ask them to pronounce unionize.

• Most people will pronounce this Yoon-yun-ize
• A chemist will pronouce this un-eye-un-ize. (i.e. the reverse of ionize).

Ask them if they wash their hands before using the toilet.
Enough said.