Humor for Communications

As the incoming VP-Education I was desperate to get members to reply to my survey or even finish reading them. So I resorted to trying to make them as humorous as my sense of humor allowed. Here are the texts of the emails I sent out.

Humorous Email for getting members to volunteer for the agenda

28-Jun-04 22:41:17
Sb: Scheduling for Cheshire Toastmasters
Fm: <VP-Education>
To: <Member>
 
Our next meeting will be a week from Wednesday and it is time for me to start making up an agenda.

This year if you would like to be on the agenda you have THREE, yes that's right 3, ways to get the job you want:

Way number 1! At the end of any meeting tell me you want to be on an upcoming agenda!

Way number 2! Send me an email telling me what you'd like to do!

or, Way number 3! ...er, actually, I've kind of run out of ways. But if you can find a carrier pigeon (watch out for the hawks near the highway) or a message in a bottle going my way (hard since we're about 50 miles from the ocean, but it might work), ..oooh, I know! or you can call me and let me know.



O.K. Enough with the humor, basically, if you want to do something let me know and I'll be glad to schedule you. Especially! Anyone want to do a speech?

We can fit in many more speeches in each meeting. If you feel you haven't been getting enough time to speak then let me schedule you for a speech. Audiences are standing by! But wait, there's more!

(I'm required to do that, it's the district theme this year and it is a good reminder that there is ALWAYS more to Toastmasters than you think you know of, but also, there is more:) We also have helpful, supportive evaluators and skilled timers and lots of appreciative Toastmasters.

So, what do you say? Can I sign you up for a speech? If not, then how about Toastmaster, Topicmaster, General Evaluator or Wordmaster? How about bringing a joke or something inspirational for the invocation?

Lots of great offers here, and face it you CAN'T beat the price!

Let me know what you'd like to do.

(Top one reason why I want people to volunteer: If they don't, then I have to volunteer them, and no one wants that.)

===========================

And Now a JOKE:

Since you read all the way through the humorous material above you deserve a treat:

The first 10 of "20 Ways To Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity"

01. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. Count how many Slow Down.

02. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

03. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with That.

04. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It " In."

05. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

06. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write " For Sexual Favors."

07. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance with The Prophecy."

08. Don't use any punctuation

09. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.



The other 10 reasons are now written on a check...which is in the mail. According to great circle mathematics and spherical trigonometry since I mailed it from Cheshire to Hartford it is now somewhere over Boise, Idaho.




Anecdotal evidence these work: my dipstick is now reading one quart of insanity higher than when I started...

Humorous Email for getting members to reply to annual survey

30-Jun-04 23:18:20
Sb: Cheshire Toastmasters - yearly Survey
Fm: <VP-Education>
To: <Member>

Every year we ask people questions in a survey and every year people reply DO YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT?

Now that I have your attention I will continue to try to make this necessary survey as entertaining as possible.

How's that for fair?

(O.K. ...how come no one answered the first question? It is fair, isn't it?)

Therefore, I'll phrase each question tongue in cheek and you can answer as you like (though if you write the answer on a piece of tuna fish it better be Sushi grade, I hate the smell of tuna from a can).


Question 1:

This is the question people objected to last time. This time I've simplified it so it has a ONE CHARACTER answer. (Two characters for the really advanced version, but that second letter is optional).

What number was the last speech you gave? - here's why it is only one
letter: if you have achieved your CTM just reply with the letter A for Advanced manual.

(Long form, for people who want to itemize: if you are working on an additional CTM then reply with the letter A and the number of the last speech in the basic manual you gave towards your additional CTM).

One character (a number 0..9 or the letter A). Easy to answer. (Note: if I get more than 2 answers with letters of the Greek alphabet I'm going to be irked).


Question 2:

What is your favorite position to hold in a meeting (Toastmaster, General Evaluator, Topicmaster, Wordmaster, Jokemaster, speaker, timer, invocater, etc.)

(According to the Toastmaster Magazine this gives insight into your character. You don't want to know what it says about people who don't answer...)


Question 3:

What is your favorite/least favorite part of the meeting (hate table topics? Love evaluations? (really?) Things like that).

(I hope I was clear that the members need to specify most or least favorite...otherwise this could be really confusing.)

Question 4:

What is/are your goal(s) for the year?


(example: My goal is to get at least 2 answers to this survey. Either that or to give a speech, on using body language, while wearing a straight jacket. I just can't decide which would be easier...)




Question 5:

What can we do to improve Cheshire Toastmasters?

(examples: Get more members? Require all officers to give a speech while wearing a dunce cap? Open membership to mimes?)

Humorous Email for reminding people about volunteering

1-Jul-04 22:30:17
Sb: Scheduling for Cheshire Toastmasters
Fm: <VP-Education>
To: <Member>
 
So far I've received two responses to the survey. Which means I can stop trying to knit a straight jacket for my speech, provided they keep coming in.

However, I've only received one person volunteering for a position at the next meeting.

Remember, by volunteering for a position you are also volunteering to not do any of the other positions.

Unless more people volunteer to not do positions by volunteering to do other positions I will be forced to start volunteering people to not do positions by volunteering them for other positions...

...in other words I need either volunteer-ees or draft-ees. I don't want to have to do that, if I have a draft I could catch a cold sitting in it, but that's the way these things work.


Please help keep your VP-education in good health and sanity: volunteer.




Richard Frantz Jr.
VP-Education for Cheshire Toastmasters

"My sanity is in your hands...I hope you washed them."


Last updated 7/4/2004 7:30:35 PM