Self-Help groups....I'm here to tell you that the perception of what can be accomplished in those organizations is often very different from the reality. I'm also here to tell you the secret of success of these groups....the secret that promoters of the groups don't want you to know.
I became acquainted with several self-help groups four years ago when I left journalism and started my own business. It was a time of introspection and self-examination. I assessed my strengths and weaknesses and determined where I needed to grow and improve.
I determined that I needed to gain small business skills, improve my communication skills and lose the 40 excess pounds that I had gained trying to save a dying newspaper. I turned to what I categorize as self-help groups although these may not be what some people refer to as self-help groups.
To learn about business I turned to the Chamber of Commerce. In a class I was taking on starting a business, the speaker said she had built up her PR business strictly through the Chamber by becoming deeply involved and working on many committees. So that's what I have done. In the process I have gotten to know more people in Cheshire than I had in the 30 previous years I lived here. It has created new business for me and it has taught me a lot about small business.
However, When I talk to some people, like my friend Jim, about how much the help I got from the Chamber, he said to me : "Ha! I paid all that money in dues, and I went to the luncheon meetings and I didn't get anything out of it. I didn't learn anything I didn't already know and I didn't make any new contacts. Nobody even talked to me!"
What my friend Jim didn't understand is that just paying dues and being a body at a meeting doesn't accomplish anything. It takes time and it takes effort, but the pay back is substantial.
The perception is: join the Chamber and get new business; the reality is join the Chamber, get involved, introduce yourself and new business will follow.
I found a similar situation when I joined Weight Watchers. This company is making kazillions of dollars on the fantasies of overweight people. Just look at the ads; one minute you're an overweight slob and in the next photo you're a bikini babe.
Come to Weight Watchers and get in shape. I've been going to Weight Watchers for three years and have seen hundreds of people come and go. They join for three or four weeks and they think that somehow by sitting in the meeting the weight is going to melt off. That doesn't happen and they quit only to be replaced the next week by the next overweight person buying into the faulty perception that just by joining the group they're going to lose weight.
I lost my weight. It took six months to lose 37 pounds and I keep going once a month to keep it off . You know what the secret is? They don't tell you that in the ads. It's that you have to keep charts and measure your food and be purposeful in your food selection.
Last but certainly not least, when I needed help with articulating my ideas in business meetings and making presentations, I turned to Toastmasters International.
Fortunately for me, just as I felt a need for this group I learned one was forming in Cheshire. It sounded perfect: Join Toastmasters and lose your fear of speaking in public.
The perception is that by joining the group and attending a few meetings, something magic is going to happen. You're going to learn the secret. I've had people call me and say: "I have to give a speech next month, so I'm going to join Toastmasters to get ready for it."
I'm here to tell you that too many people who join this group think that just by sitting in on a few meetings they're going to learn that magic secret. They'll become silver-tongued orators by the act of plunking down their forty dollars. That just doesn't happen. Those are the people who drop out. And why do they drop out? Because they find out that there is no magic formula to becoming a good speaker, it's more than a matter of getting used to coming up to the lectern, assuming the six-gun position, giving the word for the day and increasing your comfort zone. It takes lots of rehearsing and practice. We've all noticed how Doug Secor is improving in his speeches. Several weeks ago he revealed that he practiced his speech every night for three weeks. That's what it took for him to have a good speech.
It takes working through the manual of speeches. Richard Frantz Jr and Senior are our most accomplished speakers, they have completed both their first manual and have given the additional 15 speeches required for the Able Toastmaster designation. Now they're working through the basic manual again. They give speeches regularly and often. A speaker grows and develops by GIVING SPEECHES.
The other element of self-help groups which can't be overlooked is the support element provided by the other members of the group. It is a significant aspect in each of the groups and there's no denying that. But no one else can make you stop eating, no one else can rehearse your speech for you, no one else can do your committee work.
So even though the perception is that self-help groups can somehow provide you the magic key to slimness, business acumen and oratorical skill, I'm hear to tell you that's it's not so. Joining Toastmasters or any other group is more than anteing up your dues. We don't have the magic secret and neither does the Chamber of Commerce or Weight Watchers.
Unfortunately the secret to improving yourself is a little four-letter word that we don't want to think about....WORK
But if you're willing-to come to terms with that word, accept it and invest it in your self-improvement project, the pay back is enormous.