Each of us experiences
Beginners Magic
Beginners magic is a thought that
- something or someone can make me better, make me special, fix my problems
- AND
- I won't have to go through doubt, uncertainty, discovery - a process of change.
We all have these types of thoughts. They are often strongest in those moments when we feel we have no control of our life, no value in our being. We may not say these thoughts very loudly to ourselves but there they are. Look at the passive role we assign ourselves: If life is a lottery and if my ticket could just win, then everything would be better. If only everyone believed what I believe, the problem would go away. Or imagine a pill which changes your life without changing you or your relationship with yourself. Magic!
Let's look at a few examples in the form: Outer Voice (Inner Voice/Belief)
Teach me the secrets of the universe (my next appointment is in 30 minutes so hurry it up)
Give me a mystical revelation to see the meaning of life and be a "better" person (voice - well this time I'm not in a hurry so I'll give you 60 minutes. belief: there is something wrong with me)
Cure me (I feel powerless)
Receiving special knowledge or belonging to a special group will make me better than others (I find no worth in myself, no sense of connection in my life)
When I find the perfect teacher (job, partner), everything will happen (comment - are you the perfect student, worker, partner?)
If I follow someone else's advice and imitate their actions, I will receive what they received (belief - life follows our outer actions rather than individual essence)
I know just what I need to learn, anything else is a waste (I feel vulnerable)
If I behave in a certain way, people will like/accept/love/trust me (I don't feel inherent value as a human being)
I want all these things now (belief- I must be ready to receive and benefit from them now. comment: in spite of my lack of effort, my emotional neediness, my greed?)
Although it may seem most strange, these sorts of thoughts actually block receiving the very things being asked for. Focusing on controlling the outside world or your own behavior is a perfect diversion from facing possible change. The missing element in a magical thought is your relationship with yourself.
In healing and in learning, it is your willingness to take an inner journey of discovery that is key. If the desire for magic is strong, this may seem absurd or leave you feeling powerless. But you are not powerless - you already have everything you need to go on this journey at your own pace. It is your birthright as a human being.
How much Magic are you looking for?
It is important to recognize our magical thinking without judging it good or bad. It is a part of us. It represents deep felt needs and wants. So part of our personal search is about finding more appropriate and effective ways of expressing our inner needs and wants. It is about the question "Who am I?, Who is the real me?". And for some, it is about experiencing your connection to All That Is.
So as much as you can in this moment, let go of your wish for magic. Let the energy you use to wish for magic return to you, ready for other things. Be present with yourself right now. And see if it's OK not to know the answers when you have just started the journey. (After all, it's our questions that most shape the path we find ourselves on.)
Copyright 1998-1999 by Richard P. Andresen, a practitioner of spiritual and energy healing located in Hinesburg, Vermont, USA. http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/energyhealing This article may be freely reproduced as long as the author's name, copyright notice and website address are included.