Jesus burrito

This ugly mexican woman was just a-cookin' in her keetchen when suddenly Jesus just appeared on her Tortilla. That's nothing when you've had Bob Holness appear in your Marmite, but I haven't so I'm, like, quite impressed, really.

Well, I bumped into Jesus at Heaven and decided to interview him about this bizzarre event. What follows is a transcript of that interview...

JESUS SUNBATHING

ME: Jesus, hi! how are you?
Jesus: Oh alright, but me stigmata are playing up a bit.
M: so is it you in the burrito?
J: well, before I answer that I'd just like to say a big
   hello to all my fans out there in church land,
   keep the money rollin' in!
M: actually, if you've got time, does crucifiction hurt?
J: No, not at all, if you didn't look you wouldn't even
    notice.
M: it must hurt a bit!
J: huhuhuhuhuh, wuss.
M: anyway back to the burrito...
J: ah yes, no I don't go in for mexican food, maybe
   it was our kid.
M: who's that?
J: me brother, Liam. Look can I see the picture?
(I show it him)
J: haha! no, that's not me that's Jimmy Hill, It's obvious really
   all in the chin.
M: well, I'm glad we cleared that up.
J: Dumbass.

THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME