So there you sit. Staring listlessly into your computer monitor, or is it your television, or is it your neighbor's bedroom, desperate to extract a morsel or two of passive entertainment at the end of a long, monotonous day. And how, faithful reader, does it feel to be a digital sharecropper in the modern Plantation of Prosperity? Are your ideals, your goals, your fetishes the mere tonsils and appendices of the body politic? Are your dreams and aspirations receding from view much like Garth Brooks' hairline? In the sensual realm, are you giving away your passion---much like Garth had to virtually give away copies of his boxed set to pad his sales figures? And is your motivation---much like Garth Brooks' artistic credibility---nonexistent?
But enough about Garth. It's you, the Great American Automaton, that I'm worried about. And I'm certainly not worried about Garth's wife, for I am sure that she will do quite well in the divorce settlement. Indeed, if I were not so self-absorbed myself, perhaps I would devote or moment or two of my own precious time to address your innermost needs. But alas, there are planes to catch and bills to avoid....
So what to do? The answer is quite simple: Do What Everyone Else Does But Just a Little Bit Better. In your hand you hold a sizzling bolt of lightening: Cast it into the abyss, grab a beer, melt into the sofa, and apply for citizenship in the Sedation Nation . A glorious torpor and obesity await you.
Sadly, our modern media age presents the aspiring Automaton with a confounding array of choices. And yet you want it simple--very simple. You want to know exactly what to watch, what to do, and, most importantly, what to think. Moreover, you want to fill the aching void within with someone else's values; forming your own will simply increase your already overwheling fatigue. You must be exactly like THEM, the self-replicating mass of American Vulgarity---but just a little bit better!
But fear not. For the Satyrist Publishing Entity is proud to introduce Sedation Nation: The Journal of Vicarious Living . It's the web page especially for you ( whoever the hell you are) and for millions just like you yet somewhat inferior. But don't think for a moment that following the Road More Traveled will be easy. You must do exactly as we say. Buy only the movies we review, steal mp3s only from Satyrist affiliated artists, and spy only on neighbors who have the Satyrist logo tattooed on their foreheads. Socrates once said "the unexamined life is not worth living." What an idiot! Instead, reduce yourself to the level of gluttonous primal fury, and leave the thinking to us. And prepare yourself for an eternity of mindless entertainment. For membership in the Sedation Nation isn't just a right---it's a Death Sentence.
© 2001 Dennis and Charlotte Hayes