Help Wanted:

Part-time Retail Mystic

Must be able to provide useless, abstract answers to concrete questions, as posed in a hype-intensive, massively parallel commissioned sales environment.  Must have obtained bachelor or masters degree in this life or the next.  Knowledge of server-side Java, C++ or SQL is considered completely irrelevant.  Also, 2-3 years as a network administrator and demonstrated installation/configuration skills are unnecessary, and may in fact be a liability.  Communication or analytic skills?  Forget it---you won't need 'em.  Manipulate consumers into buying automobiles they don't need and can't afford, all in the name of "Stoplight Credibility."  If you can utter the  phrase "Human Potential Movement" with a straight face, you may be the sentient being for whom we have been searching.  

Apply at:  Big Fat Ugly Stupid Ed's Used Car Emporium:  "The Little Car Shop with the Big Fat Owner."

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