Little Pub Company

ContentsStop Press - Little Puck
Introduction
About the Little Pub Company
The Society of Little People, S.O.L.P.
Mad O'Rourke's Manic Pub Tour
Play a Game based on Mad O'Rourke's Manic Pub Tour

Sale of Little Pub Co to Ushers

On 13th May 1998 it has become apparent that Colm O'Rourke has sold the Little Pub Company. Quite what impact this will have on these pages is unclear, but it has certainly made me pause before adding details of the latest two pubs: The Red Hen (which appears to be the refurbished / renamed Sausage & Porter) and the Fox and Goose at Green End, Whitchurch in Shropshire.

Casualties

The stewardship of Ushers has not been too happy for the Little Pub Company chain. Reports are coming in of pubs being closed. I don't have the heart to pull apart the original pages, so will list known casualties here. Please let me know of any others that I should reluctantly add to the list.

Little Pineapple Pub Company

Colm has begun a new pub chain, the Little Pineapple Pub Company. The remainder of this page, and its linked pages, are about the original Little Pub Company.

Introduction

These pages are dedicated to Mad O'Rourke's Little Pub Company in central England. They are entirely unofficial, being the work of Dave Mellor, S.O.L.P.(60'9), M.Y.S. who is simply an enthusiastic drinker with a warped sense of humour and is therefore a natural Customer. The majority of the content of these pages is taken direct from Little Pub Company publications, without permission (sorry Colm). However as some of these are several years old the information may not be totally up to date. In particular, before travelling to any of the pubs to sample a Music Night or similar event, please telephone and check it's still on the day mentioned. I have generally used the most amusing source of information to hand, not necessarily the most recent. If you have any commects, suggestions for improvement, corrections, etc then please mail me at dave_mellor@compuserve.com.

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Mad O'Rourke's Little Pub Company

Motto : Where the Customer is Always Wrong

OK.... caveats over.... what can I tell you about the Little Pub Company? To quote Colm (Mad) O'Rourke himself: We are a small company with 19 Pubs, approaching our sixteenth anniversary of purveying good food, jovial contentment, and liquid happiness to the more discerning pub-goer in the West Midlands. In true Celtic spirit we are dedicated to a decent pint, a plate of real wholesome food (none of your nevill cuisine in a pool of raspberry jam here!), good music, and of course the conversation and the crack.

Note that the word "crack", derived from the Irish "craic", has none of your nasty druggy connotations.... it is simply people having a good time, fuelled by nothing more than a few pints of Lumphammer, the house ale.

For further information about the pub company that makes all the rest seem strange, contact

The Little Pub Co Ltd
P.O. Box 111, Kidderminster, DY14 9DU
Telephone 01299 266399 - Fax 01299 266655

Further details of the pubs themselves may be found via the simple Map.

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Society of Little People

If you think that pilgrimages like Knock, Lourdes, or Mecca are the only type of retreat for the thinking man in search of mental and spiritual restoration then you have been missing out on Mad O'Rourke's Manic Pub Tour. Yes, each year thousands of people like you (ie strange) spend a day or a month or whatever on a circuit of the Little Pubs in contemplative search of enlightenment and rejuvenation, chanting as they go the ancient timeless mantra "Apintalumphammer, Apintalumphammer", culminating in an emotional visit to the shrine of St. Winifred of the Blessed Hangover in Shrewsbury.

Over the years people have approached this spiritual voyage in many different ways. On foot, on bicycle, in tandem, on coach etc, but most persuade a hapless driver to ferry them round, whom they ply with dubious favours of orange juice, free meals, and a promise of happiness in the next life.

Every year there is a different commemorative item which may optionally be purchased at each Little Pub. Having completed your collection of glasses, plates, coasters, etc and having your Sacred Passport stamped at each Little Pub, you are received into the Sacred Brotherhood of the Ancient and Noble Society of Little People. Having been so inaugurated, members may use the Very Secret Signs of the Little People.

I myself am Member 609, which I like to imagine as Soixante O'Neuf, this fairly obviously being an Irish sexual position, possible only after several pints of Lumphammer.

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Mad O'Rourke's Manic Pub Tour

Many people have testified to the subtle effects of Lumphammer Ale, and the spirituality of the Little Pub Tour has changed their outlook on life for the better. 68 year old Alice Scroatly of Lye writes "I thought I was too old to get pregnant". Arthur Gibbons of Shrewsbury says "I've thrown away my truss", and the Rev.G.C.Glimp, Vicar of Much Twinlock writes "I wake up in the morning and I feel a new man". Yes... well... enough of that....

Anyway, it's sure to work for you. Further details are provided for the 1998 Little Pub Trail, which involves visiting ten of the Little Pubs to earn your sacred Tipton Plate. To plan your tour you can consult the simple Map, or take the clockwise(ish) route starting in the Black Country at The Little Chop House, Coley Gate. For entertainment purposes only, you could look back at the details of the 1997 Manic Pub Trail,. If you are planning a tour for a large group (say 30 plus) then Black Country Tours may make it an even more enjoyable experience. However you travel, to add to the entertainment, be sure to buy copies of the Little Pub Company's newspaper, The Lark, when you see them for sale in the pubs. You could aid communication with fellow pubgoers in the Black Country by consulting the Vocabulary and learning the Jokes. Once you have explored all of the Little Pubs, maybe you could start on another respected Black Country pub chain: Batham's.

Stop Press!

 For 1998, the Little Pubs have launched a new beer, Little Puck. With each pint you are given a free "One Puck" token: collect 100 and you join the 100 Puck Club and receive a free china tankard. Get down to your local Little Pub, check how Little Puck compares with Lumphammer, and start collecting! 1 Puck Token
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Manic Pub Tour Game

If you cannot start a Manic Pub Tour today, do not despair! The 1992 Manic Pub Tour Guide was accompanied by an amusing board game, a version of which is available here for your entertainment. Before you start you will need a dice, and preferably large quantities of beer and some others to accompany you on the Virtual Pub Tour. The game obviously works better if you drink Lumphammer.... failing this traditional Bitter will suffice.... even Lager may be in keeping : a Virtual Beer for a Virtual Pub Tour.

Unfortunately I don't know how to make this wonderful technology keep track of several people at the same time (it's hard enough working out where I am myself). If you are really lucky, each person will have their own PC and their own Internet connection.... but to be more realistic, you can all share by jotting down your square number and resetting to it before your next turn.

So... if you are all ready, you can start your Virtual Pub Tour

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