The memory... by James Kent

.

What is left, when the flesh is not longer there to touch? When the fragrance of freshly showered skin has vanished? When the sight of our lover's eyes and face, grimacing with the pleasure-pain of an orgasmic climax... is no longer to see? When the sounds of our lover's moans have vanished and faded? When our lover's salty deliciousness has left our tongues? What is left?

.

What is left, after the turbulent emotional ups-and-downs are no longer a part of our "real" experience? What is left, when the chair, the bed, the car-seat... is empty? Are memories left?

.

Yes... indeed. We all have the capacity to record in our minds. Like a film archive, that includes all the sensory experiences we felt in an intense experience (real or virtual): sight, sound, touch, taste and smell.

.

And what happens, when one of those senses is damaged? Does blindness or deafness preclude or damage an image in our mind's archive? Do we have to be satisfied with the weak explaination that a blind person is compensated by feeling more, hearing better, smelling... or tasting more? Or that the deaf person... can see more? Do we really believe, that the blindness has barred an image... a full color image... from the mind's archive of memories for that blind person? And can the deaf person... hear the moans from the pursed lips of their lover?

.

Do we really believe, that the "handicap" of not seeing makes the experience less than for the one with "all" their senses? And what are the images for our mind's archive, from a virtual lover? A lover "on-line"? A lover, whom we cannot see, hear, smell, taste... or touch? Do we have to demand a two dimensional picture of our lover, to be able to love that person? Do we need to see how they are dressed in the photo? What their jewelry or surroundings look like in the photo? Do we need to be able to judge in the photo their exact age... their weight... their body-type?

.

For those, who feel they must have the dimension of "seeing" in order to love a virtual lover, then the challenge of seeing enough in one or multiple photos is enormous. And no photo can convey the sound, smell, taste or touch of that virtual lover. A bad photo can evoke classical "real-world" judgements that kill relationships before they ever start. Judgements that in the "real world" extend to our clothing or hair styles... age... physique...cultural trappings of jewelry, autos, dancing styles, perfumes, tone of voice, dialects, and...and...and.

How many wonderful relationships are barred because we have pre-judged another... because we thought we were not blind or deaf? Is the virtual lover... something less than a "real lover"? Is the memory of the love affair less intense in the minds of the virtual lovers... than in the minds of the "real lovers"? Is there anything to be said for a relationship... that begins by discovering the person on the inside... expressed through their words? Is there "real" intimacy in sharing openly... candidly... honestly... unashamedly... fearlessly... with an online friend or lover?

.

Is there bonding through the courage to share simultaneously a masturbatory experience, rather than to continue to perpetrate the social lie that this is an aberrant social behavior... to be secretly and shamefully done only when there is no other heathly, "normal" alternative? Is there anything to be said, for discovering the sexual whelms, fantasies, dreams and wishes of a lover safely... without condoms, aids or pregnancy... in the virtual world first?

.

Is it possible, that a "real" encounter would be greatly enhanced and with far better mutual understanding and trust... if the first encounters with a lover were virtual? And if the meeting never occurs... what do we do with the memories of the virtual lover? Are these memories as intense in our mind's archive as the "real" tryst might be? Are the pains and pleasures so different that the mind cannot archive them? Are the "missing" sensual experiences of seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting and touching so defficient and dibilitating that our mind cannot archive this experience?

.

Is the memory of a "real" lover, after they are gone... somehow better archived in our minds? Is the experience of being with someone... in intimacy and truthfulness... so difficient in the "virtual" world that only our "real" world experiences ( with "all" of our senses at play) remain important enough to be worth archiving in our minds?

Ask the blind man.

.