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Cupid's Wild Arrows
intercultural romance and its consequences
edited by Dianne Dicks
ISBN: 3952000221, Price: CHF 30.00
Also available in German as Amors wilde Pfeile
Fifty-five authors of many different nationalities
write about living with two worlds in one partnership and their love relationships which
required crossing cultural frontiers. Their observations are reported with heartwarming
candor.
Note that these articles are individually available
for republication. See more details by clicking below on the Contents. |
- Is your partner from another country, language, race or religion?
- Where are the problems?
- How about the excitement?
- What conflicts can be expected?
- How can you keep your sense of identity?
- What happens to the children?
Reviews
AMERICAN CITIZENS ABROAD "This book should be required
reading for anyone contemplating marriage to a person of another culture, particularly if
they intend to live in that person's country, as it contains many good tips (and
warnings). One also gets an appreciation through these stories of the incredible
enrichment there is in exposure to another culture, particularly for the children. The
book, covering a timely topic as so many people are married to 'foreigners', contributes a
great deal to a better understanding between peoples, so important in today's
interdependent world." - Trudy Boukas
ARAB NEWS "Books like Cupid's Wild Arrows are
good for our souls. For those who can relate to the situations, reading is cathartic. For
those who cannot relate, it forces their noses into the fact that bi-culturalism, through
marriage and offspring, is an indelible part of this modern world." - Julia Simpson
NEW ROOTS "These brave souls tell it all, the ups and
downs, laughter, tears, and peculiar situations faced in intercultural romances. Cultural
shock, in-law problems, step-children and racial, language, and religious differences are
sharply observed." - Sue Greutmann
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Contents
BEYOND FRONTIERS
THRESHOLDS
CHILDREN
FOOD
LANGUAGE
COPING WITH DIFFERENCES
FAMILY INFLUENCES
COPING WITH CRISIS
IDENTITIES
ADVICE FROM THE CLEVER AND WISE
BEYOND FRONTIERS
| Warming Up Sue Stafford
(British/Irish) |
It's her first visit to Dublin to meet her prospective in-laws. She
had been brought up as an only child in an English suburban home and Church of England
schooling and now she was, of all things, planning to marry an Irishman from a family of
ten with a rigorous Catholic upbringing. |
| Does Anybody Speak Bimoba? Agnes
Bieri (Ghanian/Swiss) |
She leaves her home country of Ghana to marry a Swiss and live in
his country. She describes her impressions, her feelings of wonderment and loss, of
contrasting customs and family values. |
| Kaleidoscopes Kim Baumann
(Australian-Swiss-Vietnamese) |
Her father is Swiss, her mother Vietnamese and she's been brought
up in Australia. Now in Switzerland to get acquainted with her grandparents, she tries to
come to grips with her diverse cultural identies with humor and dignity. |
| Belly Dancing and Football Judy
Erkanat (American/Turk) |
In California she enjoyed belly dancing in a Turkish restaurant
until she marries a Turkish immigrant. She describes the reactions from both families to
their marriage and the adjustments they had to make to get along. |
| Three Times an Angel Sarah
Paris (Swiss) |
She arrives in Los Angeles with the blind innocence of a country
bumpkin and learns the ropes from her first black friend, a jive-talking streetwise skater
who was, despite his poverty and illiteracy, the classiest gentleman she could ever hope
to meet. |
THRESHOLDS
| Bella Figura Kristina
Schellinski (German/Italian) |
She describes her wedding preparations and ceremonies to marry into
an Italian family. |
| A Tale of Two Weddings Linda
Singh (American/Indian) |
She compares her own wedding in the USA to a man from India with
the Sikh and Hindu wedding ceremonies of her sister-in-law in India. |
| The Sparkle Kate Mühlethaler
(British) |
The story of an unassuming and modest Swiss nurse who marries an
elderly British gentleman and dares to break conventions in her village. |
| What's in a Kiss? Glenda
Johnson Elam (American/Italian) |
In Rome and unable to speak Italian, she falls in love with Marzio
who can speak only a few words of English. Their marriage is a blend of several cultures,
several challenges. |
| A Moving Experience Sigrid K.
Orlet (German/German) |
She and her husband were both German, but they discovered a new
dimension to their identities and relationship when they moved to the U.S. |
| Marriage Made in Heaven Verena
Bakri (Swiss/Ethiopian) |
The story of their international, interracial and interreligious
relationship. |
| Love and Scrubbing Steps Nancy
Steinbach (American/German) |
It was one thing to tour a foreign country but quite another to
actually live there and get married there. |
| Expected Response Syndrome Claire
Bonney (American/Swiss) |
She describes some of the communication difficulties dual-cultural
couples have. |
CHILDREN
| Penny in Samoa Mildred Gaugau
(American/Samoan) |
She fulfills a lifelong dream to live in Samoa. She marries a
native chieftain and now her 16-year-old American daughter comes to Samoa the first time
to meet him. |
| Chop Suey Ivy Humphreys
(Chinese/Welsh) |
A small Chinese woman from Singapore marries a tall Welshman and
enjoys the diverse physical features of their offspring. |
| Mothers Know Best, Or Do They? Polly
Platt (American/Austr.-Jugosl.) |
Five cultures within one family but they set out optimistically and
naively for the unknown. |
| Adopting New Cultures Leslie S.
Guggiari (American/Ital.-Swiss) |
An American and a Swiss marry and adopt a child from India and try
to profit from the synergy of their heritages. |
| Beauty or Beast? Marion S. Hong
(American/Chinese) |
An experience of realizing how quickly viewpoints can change. First
she's admired for taking in a war orphan. But attitudes change when it becomes known the
child is her own 'mixed baby'. |
| My Little Polyglots Frances
Favre (Australian/Swiss) |
She had grown up monolingual and wanted above all for her children
to be multilingual. |
| Cultivating Clarissa Angela
Conti Molgaard (American/Dane) |
Trying to communicate with her resentful and problematic
step-daughter was no easy task. |
| Samir Between Two Worlds Marlies
Knoke (German/Pakistani) |
They divorced but in spite of her Christian upbringing and his
Muslim traditions they strive to help their son profit and not suffer from a bi-cultural
upbringing. |
FOOD
| Goulash Germaine W. Shames
(American) |
Her Hungarian lover and his whirlwind emotions. |
| Ode to the Potato Susan
Tiberghien (American/French) |
Having six children and moving frequently to new countries posed
fewer problems than living with their different attitudes to potatoes. |
| Of Bread, Rice and Spice Christa
Pandey (German/Indian) |
How their relationship developed through their cooking skills. |
LANGUAGE
| Words as Bridges, Words as Snares John A. Broussard (American) |
He describes some of the many misunderstandings occuring in their
marriage-oriented pen pal club. |
| Saying No Moo-Lan Siew Silver
(Malaysian/American) |
She had been brought up to consider the word 'no' to be crude and
ill-mannered. She describes how difficult learning this simple reply is. |
| Tangled Lines of Communication Christine
Miyaguchi (American/Japanese) |
What comes out of their mouths and goes into each others ears gets
scrambled along the way. |
| Words of Love Germaine W.
Shames (American) |
She was dazzled by his accent and declarations of love until
circumstances put his love and his admonitions to test. |
| At Home in Two Languages Susan
Tiberghien (American/French) |
How her personality and her day's experiences change depending on
which language she is speaking. |
COPING WITH DIFFERENCES
| Touching Experiences Vasco
Esteves (Portuguese/German) |
As a Portuguese in Germany, he describes how his adaptation is
hindered by different attitudes to body language. |
| Christening in a Kimono Masako
S. Uzawa (Japanese/Swiss) |
She and her husband had no trouble with their different religious
affiliations until the Protestant clergyman came to visit. |
| Hail Britannia Elayne Clift
(American/British) |
Here was a man who by the third date hadn't made a move. His
problem or hers? |
| Squeezing In Dyanne Fry Cortez
(Anglo-Amer./Mex.Amer.) |
They grew up within 100 miles of each other but attitudes about the
personal space each needs sometimes keeps them worlds apart. |
| En Vogue Janet Rüsch
(British/Swiss) |
Can fashions cause culture shock? |
FAMILY INFLUENCES
| Life with the Family Michael H.
Sedge (American/Italian) |
The advantages and disadvantages of the influence of his Italian
in-laws. |
| Maryam and Me Susan K. Perry
(American/Lebanese) |
She thought she knew all there was to know about his culture until
his mother spent four months in their house and helped bring up their son. |
| Castaways and Breaking Conventions Suzanne Sablan (American/Guamanian) |
Marriage to Joe meant marriage to his entire immigrating family. |
| Daughterly Love Rosi
Wolf-Almanasreh (German/Palestinian) |
A daughter tries to explain to her mother why she does not consider
it extraordinary or bad to marry a foreigner. |
| How Far is it to Zurich? Beatrice
Feder (American) |
A mother tries to explain how she could accept for her son to
settle far away. |
| Return to the Ganges Indu
Prakash Pandey (Indian/German) |
Strict compliance with his family's social norms mean his German
wife will never be able to meet his mother. But he has to return regularly to the Ganges. |
COPING WITH CRISIS
| Caress Nicole Oundjian
(Armenian-French-USA/Dane) |
Public displays of passion are seen by two different worlds. |
| Dream 1002 Monica B. Suroosh
(American/Iranian) |
Her prince charmed her, fulfilled all her fantasies until a few
days after the wedding when he told her he was not in love. |
| Fences Susan K. Perry
(American/Lebanese) |
Although they divorced, she analyses all the other differences they
had, not only that they had had an intercultural marriage. |
| Nights of Wine and Roses Margaret
Ellen Jones (American/Venezuelan) |
She was fascinated by her Latin lover until she realized she was
not the only one. |
| The Door Jo Ann Hansen Rasch
(N. Zealand/Swiss) |
Just how long can one tolerate each other's whims. When is it time
to break away? |
| Common Ground Lila Bartsch
(Iranian/American) |
She can't help imagining what marriage would have been like had she
married a man of her own culture. |
| Somebody Else's Life Susan
Tuttle-Laube (Swiss/American) |
It had been so glamorous but it became a struggle for her to keep
up with all the expectations and now the attacks of having difficulty breathing were real.
|
| Dilemma Kate Mühlethaler
(British/Swiss) |
She assumed she knew why he was trying to call it off. |
IDENTITIES
| Banana Peel Bridges Bill
Kirkpatrick-Tanner (American/Swiss) |
How do you really get to know someone from a different culture?
One's identity is tricky enough within one culture. |
| Mistaken Identity Floramor
Kjaer (American/Dane) |
A Filipino-American living in Denmark describes how she feels to be
frequently mistaken as a mail-order bride. |
| My Family and Other Foreigners Terri
Knudsen (American/Dane) |
How she tries to keep her own culture's influence alive in their
family life. |
| Some Roots Start in Pockets Heidrun
West (Czech.-German/British) |
Coming from a war-torn world and trying to protect the blossoms. |
| Black and Gold Latease Copeland
(American/Dane) |
Fashion and flamboyancy were her profession until she came to live
among people who looked down on anyone who dared to be different. |
| German Love Rosi
Wolf-Almanasreh (German/Turk) |
Her protocol of a consultation with a German woman and her husband
from Turkey. |
ADVICE FROM THE CLEVER AND WISE
| Heavy Matters Donna Schaper
(American/American) |
A clergywoman describes her consultations with intercultural and
interreligious marriages. |
| Two Stones Stanley Mason
(British/Swiss) |
How each partner copes over the years, adapts, learns tolerance and
shows goodwill. |
| Oral Affairs Deborah Thomas
(American) |
A dental hygienist describes her problems in finding the right
partner. |
| Whose Rules to Live and Love By Jane
& Jacob Christ (American/Swiss) |
These psychotherapists analyse the criteria to be considered in an
intercultural relationship. |
| Thy Country 'Tis of Me Gay
Scott O'Connor (Jamaican/Swiss) |
Her family has made a habit of marrying foreigners. |
| Afterword Dianne Dicks |
How this book came to be and the criteria for the selection of the
stories included. |
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