Porifera

Sponges grow in the ocean. That kills me.
Imagine how much deeper the oceans would be
if that didn’t happen. — Steven Wright


Looking for all the world (and beyond)
like giant desiccated morels
with long and spindly, Daliesque legs —

ludicrous legs that never quite reach the ground —
the sponge-things appear out of nowhere
(which is to say, the periphery of everywhere)

and very cleverly up-end themselves
into every pond and lake, ocean, sea and sinkhole
on this beautiful blue planet,

headstanding like baobab trees
and waving their pointless legs in the air.
And they swell to the size

of Brobdingnagian beachballs
as every drop of available water
is absorbed by their absurdly poriferous bodies.

Destroyed: nearly all aquatic and pelagic life forms.
Altered irrevocably: global climatic patterns.
Definitely pissed off: environmentalists everywhere.

And they do this, not for petty xenophobic
reasons, or for spite — we could understand
those things — or for any nefandous purpose

known only to themselves,
but purely and simply
because they suck.

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