OK, where shall I begin? I was picked up from the hotel
I was staying at in Anaheim and we hit the freeway to downtown L.A. Eventually
we found ourselves turning into the oh so familiar gates of Paramount at
5555 Melrose!!
Quite
a buzz to know we were expected and could just drive
right on through! We were led through to the sound stages and had the
trailers of the Voyager and DS9 cast members pointed out to us. (Sid and
Nana now have adjacent trailers!)
The tour was being done by Robert, Sid and Nana's P.A.. He was very sweet and told us we could take as long as we liked to look around and generally play with all the bits and pieces on the sets. We took him at his word and stayed for around two and a half hours!
The first thing I noticed about most of the sets is how - complete they are. What I mean is that most of the rooms are just that. They have all four walls - they're not just backdrops. They are also, in the main, very sturdy, not just bits of plywood tacked together (plenty of masking tape though!!). Also most of the sets are built in relation to one another just as you see them on screen. For example, all the shops/rooms etc. off the Promenade are built just there and you can turn off the main Promenade set to go into them. In fact that whole set is magnificent. I had half expected to lose some of my suspension of disbelief by going onto the sets, but it didn't happen. You seriously feel like you're *there*. The starfield backdrop is permanently in place around both Ops and the upper level of the Promenade so you look out of windows and see - stars!! It's a weird sensation - especially as the airconditioning moves the drapes and it looks like the stars are twinkling!
We started off on Stage 4 in a cargo bay set and got to play with some of the crates and stuff they had stacked around - the kind of things O'Brien was knocking around in "Hard Time". At this point we first discovered the various funny comments in the small print of the labels that are stuck on the panels and such like. They include things like references to Gilligan's Island, comments about things in the mirror being closer than they seem and one proudly announces "In space no one can hear you scream"! :-) We also played around in one of the big cogwheel airlocks and Robert obligingly shut us all inside!
We moved onto Ops, which is a complex set that is laid out exactly how it looks on screen. We nosed around all the positions - no one could agree which one was Dax's and which O'Brien's! One of them had been set up with marks ready for filming by the director Kim Friedman and was cordoned off. We played in the turbolifts and then Robert, obliging as ever, transported us! OK, so we acted like a bunch of kids on a day out. So sue us! This was a once in a lifetime opportunity and we were making the most of it!! Of course we poked around in the engineering pit where Julian leapt to Jadzia's rescue in "Civil Defense" - and believe me, those ladders are pretty tricky to get down at speed! Next we all sat down for a conference at the Ops table. The stools are on tracks and are a bit like very small bicycle saddles. You can't actually sit on them, you have to perch on the edge. Ouch!
Sisko's office is a great set. As it was going to be used that day the baseball was in place, so we got to handle that! Also the clock in there, the one Sisko built in "Dramatis Personae", not only works, but is absolutely beautiful to look at. If I'd been able to sneak something into my bag as a momento I think I'd have taken that!! The spaceship models on the shelves behind the desk are also nicely done. Much to his delight Robert discovered that the terminal on Sisko's desk has its own power supply and really lights up with a display when you turn it on! He could hardly drag himself away from that! We all had to sit in Sisko's big black chair - which is incredibly comfortable - Robert wouldn't let us move on until we'd all had a turn! Oh, and it's a very inspiring feeling to walk out of Sisko's office and survey the rest of Ops from the top of those steps!!
Next we got to see Sisko's quarters. The set was all dressed and lit for filming. The African masks and sculptures looked nice. They seem to spend quite a bit of money on the incidental props - they're not tacky at all. However, I'm here to tell you that Cardassian beds are every bit as hard and uncomfortable as you've ever heard tell!! Sid met up with us for the first time there and handed out call sheets for that day's filming (on "Nor the battle to the strong"). He said he'd see us again later.
We had just left this set and were walking down one of the generic corridor sets when they suddenly switched the lighting on there too. What a difference! Again it felt like you were - *there*. It's quite spooky really just how real these sets feel when you get down to it! Oh, and you definitely do have to watch those raised doorsteps! If I remember rightly the other set we saw on this stage was Dax's science lab. I didn't think it had been used often enough to *be* a permanent set, but it was nondescript enough that it probably doubles as various people's quarters too!
We switched sound stages to visit the Promenade set next. Sid came and showed us round the Infirmary, which is tiny - most of the additional areas are only set up when needed. It basically has one biobed (which Sid cautioned us against sitting on as it tips up!), the computer work station area you see Bashir sitting at at the end of "The Quickening" and the floor to ceiling set of shelves with all those fascinating looking bottles and jars. Oh, and the little unit with swivel out trays Bashir fiddled around with in "Explorers"!! Sid opened up one of the trays to show us the high tech instruments - they turned out to be craft tools spruced up with gold metallic bands!!
Sid gave us a walk through of the start of the episode "Distant Voices" at this point. *That* was where he fell when the Lethean attacked; then he went out *there* and looked in the mirror before going to Quark's; *this* was the panel where he looked at his vital signs and yes *that* was the bit of the Promenade where he and Garak played tennis. Considering it must be over a year since he filmed it Sid seems to remember a lot about that episode so I assume it must be one he enjoyed doing.
Sid also gave us a tour of Quark's. The whole of Stage 18 was in darkness as it wasn't going to be used that day so Sid and Robert had to find a couple of set lights and drag them round from place to place so we could see - personally I think Sid missed his calling. He did an incredibly good job of bending over to plug in a light!! Anyway, Sid went behind the bar while we all sat ourselves down on the other side and he showed off all the glassware and the container of Klingon bloodwine. Then he gave away Quark's secrets by showing us the panel where he hacks into the security systems! Oh, and I have to tell you the seats at the bar are *the* most uncomfortable things you could wish to sit on!
What else? Of course we all had a spin of the dabo wheel and then went to investigate the upper level of both Quark's and the Promenade. And the upper level is a *long* way up those spiral staircases - which are *incredibly* narrow! I'm not surprised Odo didn't like Jake and Nog dangling over the edge - it would've been damned messy if they'd ever fallen! We took a leisurely turn round the entire top floor of the Promenade, admiring the flags and the stars. Sid had to leave again at this point as he was going to a meeting with God, errr I mean Rick Berman.
When we made our way back down I made a point of stopping in at the Replimat. There are a couple of other shops plus a storage room you can get into. And yes, Robert shut us in the latter! Oh and Odo's security office is quite a big set too. We all perused the wanted posters by the door and sat behind the desk! We had a brief debate as to which of the chairs Kira ususally sits in! The Bajoran temple is just a front as is the Klingon restaurant - there are no sets behind and most disappointingly Garak's shop is not a permanent set at all. Instead there is a structure rather like a large garden gazebo that they dress according to what they need and one of the things it's used for is Garak's. Anyway, at least I can say I've stood in the *location* of the shop! Before we moved on we stopped to read the Promenade Directory with all its silly in-jokes and names borrowed from other sci fi shows. Incidentally, we noticed that Garak apparently has competition as there's another clothier listed!
Finally we headed for Stage 17 which is where filming was due to be happening. We should have got to see it, but they were running about four hours late sadly. We had to wander round most of these sets in the dark lit only by flashlights! This was because they were setting up the lighting for filming. Anyway, we visited the Defiant. This is a surprisingly small set considering it has I think six stations plus the conference area at the rear. Everyone got to sit at all the positions at Robert's insistence. The Captain's chair is such a long way off the ground you can't get your feet to reach the floor! No wonder Kira needs heels... Once again when you sit at the helm and face front you see what appears to be a viewscreen with a starfield as opposed to just a blank space. We found and read the ship's dedication plaque with all the show's technical people listed in small letters at the bottom.
Robert led us into another darkened set and it took us a few moments to realise we were now on board a runabout! As we started investigating the seats we discovered the control buttons in the arm are actually all just for seat adjustments!! This is another extremely cramped set. It must be hell to work in if all four flight positions are filled and you have cameras etc. around too!
As we were walking around the stage we came across a bunch of extras waiting for their call. They were already in costume and made up. We stopped for a brief chat and we discovered Robert had started out wanting to be an actor and actually worked on a film with Quentin Tarantino last year. He said it was voted the worst film of the year, but I don't recall the title. One of the extras, who was dressed in a shredded Starfleet security uniform stood up and greeted us saying "Hi, I'm dead!" :-)
Along the way Robert also managed to get us into a couple of other interesting places. We saw one of the props stores where all the weapons being used were stored - phaser rifles, Cardassian disruptors the lot! Also we saw one of the new tricorders which has far more flashing lights than the old model! Definitely a cut above the ones you buy in the shops!
He also got us a visit to Michael Westmore's make up shop. That was fascinating, seeing the walls lined with all the alien masks that are so familiar from the series. They included the 'master' Odo mask. They also still had all the Borg masks from First Contact, including the Borg Queen. Laid out around on the benches were 'wounds' and notes of the actors they needed to be applied to. Someone was working on Morn's mask, putting colour on it preparatory to it being used. As I looked around I noticed on the wall a highly technical looking drawing. On closer inspection I discovered it was the "Sideburn Bible"!! Yep, they have a highly specialised and precise way in which those Starfleet sideburns have to be cut would you believe! Robert fished out one of the Ferengi noses and handed it around for us to try out. It was made of fairly thick, spongy stuff and felt as if it would be impossible to breathe through. I don't envy Armin and co.!
Well, what else can I say other than that it was a huge amount of fun! I wouldn't have missed it for the world. As I said before the sets are laid out in such a realistic way that I don't think it has spoiled the 'magic' if you will at all. If anything it's kind of *reinforced* my image of the station.
Report and photo copyright K.Colohan 1996
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