Like the title says, this is an index of Diatribes from the past. Those old favorites are only a point and click away.

• Popeye said it best, I yam what I yam
• It's not that guys are unsanitary...
• Who will weep for the blue agave?
• The desert's looking better all the time
• The ultimate commitment
• The longest distance between two points is through the valet
• Is this what they meant by "Taking it to the Street"?
• Celebrity Spokesdroids
• Aiming for a poor design
• Methinks he doth protest too much
• Magical Electric Elves; Fact or Fiction?
• Checking isn't just for hockey any more
• I'm just making sure my brake lights work
• There aren't enough kids around with magnifying glasses if you ask me
• Instant ain't quite as instant as it used to be
• Tejano, it's not just for Cinco de Mayo any more
• How many cubits are there in a furlong?
• You WILL watch our ads!
• The Donald
• Bed of weeds? That's a flower garden!
• Peter Jackson - Pooch Screwer Extraordinaire
• To be or not to be? TO BE!
• Just using fingers and toes isn't going to be enough
• We don't need a better mousetrap, we need a better mouse
• We're from the IRS and we're here to help - what a whopper of a lie
• The lead footed turtle looms ahead, and behind
• The light might be blinking, but there's nobody home
• No more spam please, I've had enough
• Moronic Motorists Messing up Motorway
• At least there aren't any sad clowns
• So perhaps I am easily annoyed
• The Truth is that those commercials are highly annoying
• Salesdroids vs. Hitler - Who's more evil?
• Another Hallmark Holiday
• Windows, making life that much more interesting
• Say hello to idiotic commercials
• Well it annoyed me anyway
• Who are the Ad Geniuses that came up with this one?
• The costs runneth over
• The Romans aren't responsible for these road widths.
• The other black gold.
• Ask not for whom the dog barks, he barks for thee
• It could just be stupidity, but it's probably evil at work
• The joys of buying a home
• The Taxman Auditeth
• Where are you going to make me go today?
• The Accidental Tourist
• Give me palindromes, and I'll give you death!
• When metaphors attack
• As if I cared who made this crap
• Rain rain go away, and stay gone
• Pinball Programming Punks!
• Paybacks of the Karmic kind are heck
• To not serve man
• That beat is just a little too phat
• Day of the Living Dead
• Can't we have more attrition, please?
• Toilet seat covers and other decorating don'ts
• Fall, a time of magic!
• Pricing policy or random number generator?
• Not all baggage is the emotional kind
• Whyfore art thou diatribe?
• Radar Love indeed
• I didn't know Uncle Sam carried a scythe
• What were we talking about again?
• The song formerly coined by Prince
• A rocket scientist? Ha!
• Stop him before he chiches again!
• What are they selling again?
• Deplane boss! Deplane damnit!
• It's only TV Wasteland
• The Smoker's Gauntlet
• Does it beep when it backs up?
• Password Plus this ain't
• Cecille B. DeMille he ain't
• That was a joke?
• Stone knives and bearskins are looking pretty good
• Assault on the Speed Limit
• The Urban Legend Cometh
• Hair Balls O' Plenty
• Can I quote you on that?
• Are you also frightened by your own shadow?
• Muzak of the damned
• The hardest material known to man
• Trick me once, shame on you
• Who needs a ski resort to slalom?
• Digital Cable == Digital Crap
• The 'final frontier' indeed
• The idea is to keep your total under 21
• Mad Max had the right idea
• Glacier racing for fun and profit!
• Not exactly a soothing sound
• Bob Fosse couldn't teach these guys anything
• Slippery Chicken State Polytechnical Institute?
• M.C. Escher - Architect
• What gleam off yon skull breaks?
• They don't shoot dogs, do they?
• How many servings per container?
• On the Highway to Hell
• Cheesasaurus Rex, Where art thou?
• I cannot tell a lie, I felled it out of sheer spite!
• Could you speed it up a bit buddy?
• Killer sharks wearing bikinis, tonight on Eye Action News
• The really heavy stuff shouldn't come down for a while yet
• March Madness is really a pretty good name for it
• Yes Virginia, people really are that stupid
• The penultimate Hallmark Holiday
• Therein lies the problem
• Ol' Bessie done gone dry
• The herd mentality
• Scrooge had the right idea in the first place
• What's reality got to do with it?
• Reach out and Touch? someone (IYKWIM, AITYD)
• If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck...
• Know Fear
• Noisy enough to wake a Shakespearean ghost
• How not to tell a joke
• Friends? Sodding Bastards would be a better term
• Speedhumps of Plenty
• This is fall?
• The Molemen Driveth
• Scam Supreme
• As Psychic as my Left Foot
• Roadway Scavengers
• Speed Limits are determined through random drawings!
• What attachment through yon modem crawls?
• No more Mr. Nice Guy.
• I had classes with you? Really?
• Sigs of Shame
• Flashing Red Lights
• Zoom-Pow-Splat
• Ye Olde Towne Shoppe Inne?
• With age comes something or other, I forget
• Monster Truck Madness
• Haven't you ever used an ATM before?
• The Fruit Fly Menace
• Microsoft vs. Ticketmaster
• Get thee behind a pillar
• Service? What service?
• Annoying Driver Habit #63
• Tall Mens Store?
• Cute Pet Names
• Immortality
• Jeopardy
• Whining about Women
• The Great Appliance Graveyard
• Web Pages Without Text Alternatives
• Radio Commercial Conspiracy
• New Years Resolutions
• Happy New Year
• Whiniest Beer in America
• Midnight Train to Insomnia
• The Great Bread Debacle
• Stamps o' Plenty
• Short Attention Span Theater
• Marketing Morons
• Little Mailbox of Horrors
• Toilet Targeting
• Stickers on Fruit
• Political Mailings
• Grocery Greetings
• Thankyou Wave
• Leave a Message!
• What's a troika?
• State Vehicle Inspection
• Sports Cars
• Car Alarms
• TV Shows that turn preachy
• Homonyms
• Human Traffic
• Scrappy Doo
• Next Door Neighbors
• Christmas Music
• Air Travel Companions
• Memories of What Was
• The Caller ID Conspiracy
• Annoying Driver Habit #48
• Birthdays
• Annoying Driver Conspiracy
• Daytime Running Lights
• Songs you'd rather forget
• Pointless Web Pages

• Go back to where it all began.