Dean's Daily Diatribe Archive Index
Like the title says, this is an index of Diatribes from the past. Those old favorites are only a point and click away.
- Popeye said it best, I yam what I yam
- It's not that guys are unsanitary...
- Who will weep for the blue agave?
- The desert's looking better all the time
- The ultimate commitment
- The longest distance between two points is through the valet
- Is this what they meant by "Taking it to the Street"?
- Celebrity Spokesdroids
- Aiming for a poor design
- Methinks he doth protest too much
- Magical Electric Elves; Fact or Fiction?
- Checking isn't just for hockey any more
- I'm just making sure my brake lights work
- There aren't enough kids around with magnifying glasses if you ask me
- Instant ain't quite as instant as it used to be
- Tejano, it's not just for Cinco de Mayo any more
- How many cubits are there in a furlong?
- You WILL watch our ads!
- The Donald
- Bed of weeds? That's a flower garden!
- Peter Jackson - Pooch Screwer Extraordinaire
- To be or not to be? TO BE!
- Just using fingers and toes isn't going to be enough
- We don't need a better mousetrap, we need a better mouse
- We're from the IRS and we're here to help - what a whopper of a lie
- The lead footed turtle looms ahead, and behind
- The light might be blinking, but there's nobody home
- No more spam please, I've had enough
- Moronic Motorists Messing up Motorway
- At least there aren't any sad clowns
- So perhaps I am easily annoyed
- The Truth is that those commercials are highly annoying
- Salesdroids vs. Hitler - Who's more evil?
- Another Hallmark Holiday
- Windows, making life that much more interesting
- Say hello to idiotic commercials
- Well it annoyed me anyway
- Who are the Ad Geniuses that came up with this one?
- The costs runneth over
- The Romans aren't responsible for these road widths.
- The other black gold.
- Ask not for whom the dog barks, he barks for thee
- It could just be stupidity, but it's probably evil at work
- The joys of buying a home
- The Taxman Auditeth
- Where are you going to make me go today?
- The Accidental Tourist
- Give me palindromes, and I'll give you death!
- When metaphors attack
- As if I cared who made this crap
- Rain rain go away, and stay gone
- Pinball Programming Punks!
- Paybacks of the Karmic kind are heck
- To not serve man
- That beat is just a little too phat
- Day of the Living Dead
- Can't we have more attrition, please?
- Toilet seat covers and other decorating don'ts
- Fall, a time of magic!
- Pricing policy or random number generator?
- Not all baggage is the emotional kind
- Whyfore art thou diatribe?
- Radar Love indeed
- I didn't know Uncle Sam carried a scythe
- What were we talking about again?
- The song formerly coined by Prince
- A rocket scientist? Ha!
- Stop him before he chiches again!
- What are they selling again?
- Deplane boss! Deplane damnit!
- It's only TV Wasteland
- The Smoker's Gauntlet
- Does it beep when it backs up?
- Password Plus this ain't
- Cecille B. DeMille he ain't
- That was a joke?
- Stone knives and bearskins are looking pretty good
- Assault on the Speed Limit
- The Urban Legend Cometh
- Hair Balls O' Plenty
- Can I quote you on that?
- Are you also frightened by your own shadow?
- Muzak of the damned
- The hardest material known to man
- Trick me once, shame on you
- Who needs a ski resort to slalom?
- Digital Cable == Digital Crap
- The 'final frontier' indeed
- The idea is to keep your total under 21
- Mad Max had the right idea
- Glacier racing for fun and profit!
- Not exactly a soothing sound
- Bob Fosse couldn't teach these guys anything
- Slippery Chicken State Polytechnical Institute?
- M.C. Escher - Architect
- What gleam off yon skull breaks?
- They don't shoot dogs, do they?
- How many servings per container?
- On the Highway to Hell
- Cheesasaurus Rex, Where art thou?
- I cannot tell a lie, I felled it out of sheer spite!
- Could you speed it up a bit buddy?
- Killer sharks wearing bikinis, tonight on Eye Action News
- The really heavy stuff shouldn't come down for a while yet
- March Madness is really a pretty good name for it
- Yes Virginia, people really are that stupid
- The penultimate Hallmark Holiday
- Therein lies the problem
- Ol' Bessie done gone dry
- The herd mentality
- Scrooge had the right idea in the first place
- What's reality got to do with it?
- Reach out and Touch? someone (IYKWIM, AITYD)
- If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck...
- Know Fear
- Noisy enough to wake a Shakespearean ghost
- How not to tell a joke
- Friends? Sodding Bastards would be a better term
- Speedhumps of Plenty
- This is fall?
- The Molemen Driveth
- Scam Supreme
- As Psychic as my Left Foot
- Roadway Scavengers
- Speed Limits are determined through random drawings!
- What attachment through yon modem crawls?
- No more Mr. Nice Guy.
- I had classes with you? Really?
- Sigs of Shame
- Flashing Red Lights
- Zoom-Pow-Splat
- Ye Olde Towne Shoppe Inne?
- With age comes something or other, I forget
- Monster Truck Madness
- Haven't you ever used an ATM before?
- The Fruit Fly Menace
- Microsoft vs. Ticketmaster
- Get thee behind a pillar
- Service? What service?
- Annoying Driver Habit #63
- Tall Mens Store?
- Cute Pet Names
- Immortality
- Jeopardy
- Whining about Women
- The Great Appliance Graveyard
- Web Pages Without Text Alternatives
- Radio Commercial Conspiracy
- New Years Resolutions
- Happy New Year
- Whiniest Beer in America
- Midnight Train to Insomnia
- The Great Bread Debacle
- Stamps o' Plenty
- Short Attention Span Theater
- Marketing Morons
- Little Mailbox of Horrors
- Toilet Targeting
- Stickers on Fruit
- Political Mailings
- Grocery Greetings
- Thankyou Wave
- Leave a Message!
- What's a troika?
- State Vehicle Inspection
- Sports Cars
- Car Alarms
- TV Shows that turn preachy
- Homonyms
- Human Traffic
- Scrappy Doo
- Next Door Neighbors
- Christmas Music
- Air Travel Companions
- Memories of What Was
- The Caller ID Conspiracy
- Annoying Driver Habit #48
- Birthdays
- Annoying Driver Conspiracy
- Daytime Running Lights
- Songs you'd rather forget
- Pointless Web Pages

- Go back to where it all began.